Warning: This story discusses suicide.
Tradie Carl Pye has experienced his fair share of struggles through work and since joining the non-profit For All The Brothers (FATB), he’s been helping other tradies to address the stigma around men’s mental health with a ‘Walk and Talk’ event planned for this Sunday 10 April in Raglan to “spark the chat”.
(Listen to the full interview below:)
“Come for a walk, meet some people and chat about what’s going on in your life. Normalise talking about the highs and lows in life.”
Carl invites anyone that feels like coming along to join him at 9.30am on Sunday at the Raglan Surf Club to embark on a walk. They will stop around half way through for an opportunity for anyone to partake in a non-judgemental talk.
“The walk is a safe space for the brothers (and sisters) to have a kōrero. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to, it’s a non-judgemental space where we can feel vulnerable enough to spark that chat around mental health” says Carl.
FATB was founded by Zane Munro who started the group when he began his mental health journey as a tradie in Australia . Carl's mental health journey started 20 odd years ago working as a tradie in NZ. When Carl was living in Australia, he came across FATB while they were holding Zoom meetings during lockdown where people could jump online and tune in to the kōrero about mental health.
He says that between 2017and 2020 in New Zealand, around 160 male construction workers have died from suicide.
FATBs Tradie Tuesdays online chat initiative helped Carl to connect with other tradies to talk about things that were stressing him out at work which was important to create an opportunity to release anything he’d been holding inside.
“You might be having a hard day and then you have someone down your throat. They might not necessarily be trying to make you feel bad but that’s the last thing you need at that moment,” says Carl.
He says that part of the problem is the culture of masculine workplaces, like building sites, where certain behaviours are accepted as the norm. Similar to how young surfers experience ‘grom abuse’ from older surfers, there is a culture in construction where there can be a hazing process and workers on site aren’t always mindful of how they communicate with others.
“If you see someone on site looking low - reach out and pick them up. Things like smiles and manners can really go a long way.”
When it comes to construction sites, there’s a lot of stress from things like long work hours, pressure to work faster, as well as managing working relationships with others. Issues around bullying and alcoholism around the site can also affect mental health and lead to more work-related stress.
Carl says that it’s important for bosses to check in with their workers too, whether that is through a daily meeting or end of the week BBQ, taking the time to listen to your workers is the key to better workplaces.
Having a bad day or being stressed at work can filter down the system and affect the relationships you have in your personal life with your family or your friends. Often it’s the small things like checking up on yourself that can have a huge impact on how you feel.
“You have to take time for yourself to fill your own cup,” says Carl. “What are you doing to spark the chat or to make yourself feel better?”
“It’s up to you to make a change.”
“Males can have a staunch attitude and not want to talk about things, but the stats don’t lie,” says Carl.
Mental health is a topic that many men are reluctant to talk about. One indicator of the reluctance is the simple fact that, while NZ males report lower rates of depression and anxiety than NZ females, men accounted for roughly three-quarters (72%) of NZ suicides in 2020.
Having received so much support from the FATB initiative, Carl and his mate Kalib from Ngāruawāhia have started a FATB Waikato group and are holding a Men’s Walk and Catch Up event in Raglan this Sunday.
For All The Brothers Waikato Men’s Walk: Meet 9.30am at the Raglan Surf Club, Sunday 10 April 2022.
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